Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Story of Ms. Big Head

Recently, I went for a ride in a bi-plane with my Dad. It was completly old school and amazingly fun, especially with the spectacular views of Sedona, Ariz., and the surrouding red-rock landscape. I saw beautiful formations, plunging canyons and high plateaus densly covered with evergreens, all from an open-air cockpit.

When I got out of the airplane, I had a terrible headache. It wasn't because of the pressure changes during take-off and landing. It wasn't because the pilot turned our plane on its side with the left wing pointing straight down and the right wing pointing straight up. And it had nothing to do with the fact that I was in a loud, windy seat with no roof.

It was because I have a big head.

This big head problem has been one that has plagued me for all of my life. My first softball helment, which I received for my ninth birthday, was a large--and it wasn't bought big so I could grow into it.

When my older sister and I got to the age that we wanted to share clothes, she often would not let me borrow her shirts becasue she said my big head stretched out the neck. And she was right, it did--the stretched out necks of my own shirts were proof.

During my freshman year of highschool, the same sister's boyfriend caught on to the Leslie-has-a-big-head game. She had been showing him photos of our childhood and he made a comment about what a large head I had then and still had at the present time. The two of them have long since broken up, but you better belive that six years later, he still makes fun of me.

To the casual observer, this head obesity problem isn't overly obvious. I was the athletic director's office aide during ninth grade. It was flag football time, and being the petite girl that I am, he was concerned about my safety. So he tried to give me a football helmet, despite my protests that it would be too small. And when he tried to put it on my head--it was, even though he promised me it was one of the biggest helments they had.

So, you ask, if people don't notice my big head, why does it matter? The issue is that people only don't notice my big head because I do things to draw the attention away. Like have big hair. Really. It helps.

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