Gar, Babies!

A couple years ago, I wrote a blog titled "Say NO to Kids." It detailed all the reasons my 21-year-old head could come up with about why I didn't, don't and won't want kids. My explanations fell into categories ranging from disinterest to vanity, and none of them were particularly impressive.

Fast forward two years. I've been married for 16 months, which is just long enough for people to stop asking me, "So, how's married life?" There should be a news bulletin about how much newlyweds HATE that question. Especially me. That question brought on a harsh reality check every time someone said those four words with a sweet smile on their face. The truth was, I's moved 800 miles away from the only life I've ever known, I had no friends, no job, I missed my family terribly and I'd found that living with my husband was very, very different from visiting every few months. But who the heck wants to hear that? Instead, I became very well-versed in "Oh, it's great! It's an adventure, but I love it!" ::Cue cheesy smile::

So we've moved past that. I've made friends, started my own company, am going back to school and have learned enough about life here that I'm surviving. James even learned to (sort-of) help around the house. Slowly but surely, I see the, "So, when are you having kids?" question beginning to creep into my life. Thankfully, my friends from Ohio know me well enough to laugh that thought right out of their heads. As for everyone else, well, the sugar coating has apparently been sucked clean off this newlywed. I have started laughing, albeit polite laughter, when someone asks me about children. Then I tell them to ask me again in seven years.

When a friend told me that James and I needed to get busy so we could be pregnant together?

Seven years.

When my sister-in-law said she wanted a niece or nephew?

Seven years. Or find a new brother.

I suppose I don't mind that people ask, because I recognize that I'm definitely in the minority with my lack of interest in children. I thought that maybe as I get older, I'll become more interested, but it's not happening. As I hear/read/see more and therefore have a more realistic view of pregnancy and life with a child, I'm even less interested, if anything.

(Thankfully, I have extraordinarily unusual parents and in-laws, who all whole-heartedly support w.a.i.t.i.n.g. I don't know if they'll be as patient in a few years, but for now, at least they don't particularly care.)

What has changed is the fact that I now realize things may be different down the road. I know that there is the possibility that we may decide that it's time to grow our family. In fact, James and I have actually had conversations about babies (Ok, maybe not real conversations, just about how I want to be able to pick what my child looks like. I I want him/her to look like James. Seriously, he and his sister were the most precious children ever, and they grew up into lovely adults, as well.). So while we're not ready now, the point is that we're making progress. We know it's a possibility, and we know that it's up to US and when WE're ready, not when everyone else wants it to happen.

But I'm still Saying NO to Kids... for now.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I was talking about this with someone the other day and thought of a wonderful point: people also need to consider that you got married when you were in your very early twenties and that you are still getting your own personal life in order. You are only 24... who says you need to be popping one out already?!