Smelling the Proverbial Roses

Last night, Ryan, James & I were debating the attributes and design of BMWs versus Mercedes - the former being Ryan's mode of transportation and the latter mine. This conversation had followed a discussion of how unfortunate it was that Ryan's parents no longer stock their refrigerator with Dom.

What happened to me?

Once upon a time, I was a small town girl growing up in a family where money was tight. I lived in hand-me-downs, and my dad worked two jobs for most of my childhood so we'd have enough money to do fun things like play softball or take our now infamous educational vacations. We drove modest cars, shopped at discount stores and rarely went out to eat without a coupon. And I didn't have any less happy of a childhood for any of this.

Now I wouldn't buy a house without granite, hardwoods and stainless steel appliances, and I HAD to install crown molding because who the heck built a condo without it? When it came time to replace my car, I didn't look at anything other than Mercedes, and my handbags have to have a designer tag. James & I think it's acceptable to go out for dinners with price tags at which my mother and father balk.

How, and when, did I become this way?

I'm still painfully proud of where I came from -- but it wasn't a good enough place to stay. I listen to country music about simple lives in small towns, and while it touches a cord in me, it does not portray who I actually am today. After working so hard to stop being so judgmental and be a better, more genuine person, I think I've lost hold of those attributes. Instead, I feel like I've gotten caught up in the drama, the city, the competitive young professional circuit... and in the process, I'm forgetting the important things in my life.

I've regained my focus on my marriage, which had been suffering until last fall but is now stronger than it's ever been. I should take it as a lesson learned that progress can be made, but it will take time and effort. I want to focus on my friendships, exploring the history & culture of Georgia, going outdoors, reading books and reigniting the passion I used to have about so many things and people in my life. I want to rediscover the hobbies I used to have and find new ones, new interests and new people.

There is so much to love, enjoy and explore as we travel through our lives, and you don’t have to be driving a luxury car to get there.